Later reports have stated that the suspicious item was
In truth, burritos, and other bean-intensive foods, have been a problem for years. There is only one thing more disruptive to classroom order than a loud ripper released during a lecture, and that is the wiff of a Silent-but-Deadly permeating the atmosphere. I urge school officials nationwide to ban the use or carrying of any type of bean on campus.
Thank you for your time.