Thursday, July 01, 2004

Spiderman 2: Your Humble Host's Review

I went to see Spiderman 2 yesterday (kind of sad that that needs to be said, but hey, at least I'm making a game effort at professionalism here) with a friend, and I have a couple of things to say about it. Point 1 is actually something in the back of my mind since the commercials started playing, so no spoiler there. Point 2 is a complete spoiler, so don't say I didn't warn you.

1. Peter Parker is always going on about how he can't clue the people he loves into the fact that he is Spiderman because it would endanger their lives. Yet, even in the commercials we have Dr. Octopus telling Peter to get Spiderman to a certain place at a certain time, because Peter is obviously the one person in all of New York with the most reliable contact with the hero. The penalty for failing to arrange the meeting? The stripping of Mary Jane's flesh from her bones. Therefore, we have Mary Jane Watson in danger from a villain trying to lure Spiderman out into the open. Granted it is a second hand threat, but that wouldn't make the flesh stripping any more pleasant.

2. SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT Stop reading now if you don't want to know how the movie ends.

Spiderman wins.

Moving on past the Well, D'uh! spoiler, the ending just set my scientific teeth on edge. The movie ends when the massive ball of fusion energy is plunged into the river (Hudson or East, I don't know, like it matters) because there is no technical way to stop the fusion once it becomes self-sustaining. Now, this is fusion, not fire, so dunking it in water will not put it out. If there were at least a little bit of techno-babble about the water cooling the fusion below a minimum energy threshold, then I could buy it. Well, that and a shot of millions of gallons of New York river water flashing to steam almost instantly, which the movie omitted. I've never been to New York, but from what I heard, that type of steam would not be what one could call springtime fresh.

Review in brief: The action scenes were great, better than the original in both spectacle and execution. Note to Mr. Raimey (Director): For Pete's Sake, please cut down on the romantic, Will-He-Tell-Her-Won't-He-Tell-Her, angst. We've got Smallville for that.

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